Wednesday, January 17

Hope


There is just so much going on right now! My brother was on TV last night—YEA!!! It was Eddie’s birthday yesterday as well so there were transatlantic phone calls and emails flying all day long. They had a fight in his unit for his birthday. A big brawl. Because nothing says ‘Happy Birthday’ like a fist in the face. I’m not supposed to worry though, because no one was ‘really bleeding’. Men.

I’m making a plan. (I’m always making a plan) This one may be on the Oprah side of the fuzzy-meter, but what the hell. I always thought that the only way to get the things I wanted in life was to sacrifice for them. And that is true. But I thought that it had to hurt and that is not always true. It is not always necessary to suffer for one’s art. Lately I’ve been suffering needlessly. I have been telling myself that I can’t do things or have things because I want to own my own business and there is studying to do and money to save. There are also 24 hours in the day and now that I’m willing to make use of more of them I’m finding that there are opportunities in every day I was blind to. (That’s the Oprah super-fuzzy part…but true) I’m still working on the plan—I’ll let you know how it goes.

I guess the thing is that I look at my brother, who has worked so hard for so long and is finally breaking through a little and I look at Eddie who can somehow make me laugh from the middle of a war zone and I’m pretty damn disappointed in myself. It’s time to get off of my ass and get something done. Talk is cheap and I’ve got a big mouth. I think I’m on the right track now- and if I’m not at least I’m moving…

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