Saturday, March 31

I Rule

Actually I follow like a sheep, but check out this little quiz I heard about during my daily dose of the zealot like a convert indeed...

You are The Emperor

Stability, power, protection, realization; a great person.

The Emperor is the great authority figure of the Tarot, so it represents
fathers, father-figures and employers. There is a lot of aggression and violence

The Emperor naturally follows the Empress. Like an infant, he is filled with enthuiasm, energy, aggression. He is direct, guileless and all too often irresistible. Unfortunately, like a baby he can also be a tyrant. Impatient, demanding, controlling. In the best of circumstances, he signifies the leader that everyone wants to follow, sitting on a throne that indicates the solid foundation of an Empire he created, loves and rules with intelligence and enthusiasm. But that throne can also be a trap, a responsibility that has the Emperor feeling restless, bored and discontent.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

THE LIST part one

G -Sanctioned Birthday Month Presents
Multiple Orgasms
Fund my book store
A third season of ROME on HBO
The last Harry Potter book before anyone else (yeah I read them, what?!)
Sterling Vodka
Amarula Cream
The biggest bottle of Bailey's you can find
Bacon Bleu Cheese burgers from BYB that make you lose weight
(lots of) Oysters at AW Shucks
A Box of 'Feathers' from Godiva
Wash My Car...PLEASE
X Box should come home to visit
2 hours in Nine West with someone else's credit card
A raise
An extra week off
Happy hour with all my friends from work
An apartment's worth of new furniture
A puppy
An apartment where I can have pets
The Dan Band to serenade me at work
Amos Lee to serenade me at home
A new iPod
Sports Night on DVD
The L Word Boxed Set
One night with Brad Whitford, or John Legend, or Amos Lee, or Dominic West, or Brett Favre, or McSteamy ...
More Books
Some more Books
Bookstore gift cards
Someone to rub my back and refill my wineglass while I read
Someone to smack the idiot in the book store the other day
who tried to tell me Ayn Rand was a communist (stupid fucker)
A month of good hair days
A trip to Venice
A new stuffed animal (because I'm not too old)
A Sunday filled with coffee, news shows, food, cheesy movies, sex and sleep

My Birthday Month

If you are offended by arrogance, entitlement or self-absorbtion...or if you can't take a joke you should not read this blog until May...or EVER really...

Maybe I shouldn't be this excited...and I know I shouldn't gush about it, but I have to tell you all that I GOT A COMMENT FROM THE BLACK POPE HIMSELF!!! Ok- I'm breathing, I'm calm, it's fine. Take THAT Company Bitch...HA!
* calming down and shaking it off*
Now, let's get down to some serious business: April is my birthday month. Some of you pansies may just have birthdays, and my good friend V rocked the birthday week, but now it is time for you all to watch the master (um I meant mistress) at work! Starting tomorrow the Birthday Month of G will commence with much singing, dancing, drinking and general revelry. But G, you ask, how can I prove my love for you and celebrate the fact that this planet was blessed with your existence? Good question, peon. First, you can build yourself a willow cabin at my gate and write loyal cantons of contemned love for me(or limericks about your favorite sexual positions because really, who doesn't love a limerick?). Second you can read my blog to keep up with all the general revelry and the plans for the 28th Annual Birthday Smackdown in Charleston, SC on April 17th, 2007. Third, the G does accept cash donations. As of this moment they are not tax deductible, but I might as well apply for not- for- profit status so that may change. Oh and hey, if you have any Aaron Sorkin or West Wing memorabilia you want to throw my way that'll work too. I will be keeping a running list of things I want for my birthday month which will be crossed off as they are received. Receipts will be posted via blog.
Before I go and you start your shopping or scribbling, one last thing: I talked to V last night. She was at a hockey game with her parents and she mentioned that she was going on a date with funeral boy next Friday when her mother reminded her that it will be Good Friday and said "Well, I hope it works out better for you than it did for Jesus."

no comment

Wednesday, March 28

Warning: This Post is About Sex!!!

I had a visitor this morning and he started my day off just right. I am not bragging. I’m not. Really. OK- I am, but my regular readers (both of you) know that I’m not a nice person so you shouldn’t be surprised. There is- however- a little problem. I have no problem with waking up at 5am (well, I do…but not if there is sex and coffee involved) and I have no problem with watching the early news naked, snuggling, or napping before work. In fact- those are all things that amount to an A+ morning in my book. Here’s my problem… now I want more. My body was tricked into thinking today was a Sunday. My body wants to go back to bed (not alone) for a couple more hours, get up and make breakfast around noon, and then maybe go for round three (or four or wherever we are by then). Instead my body is stuck with my mind at work and neither of us is really concentrating at all. We’re both thinking about when it’ll happen again…which is, as far as I can see, the only problem with morning sex- the distraction factor for the rest of the day- that and having to stop to go to work. That sucks. At least if it’s at night you can just not go to sleep…
I’m not complaining…
Or bagging…I’m just saying…

Thursday, March 22

Ode to X

An Ode to the Box (Himself)
You better be reading this since you made me
write it!!!

His most magnificent and glorious Boxness is gone and we shall weep, wail and apply hair shirts to great effect. The next five months shall be a period of mourning for all the subjects of King Christian Sega the I. Life will not be worth living until he once again graces us with his magnificent presence… blah blah blah…

Ok Sega, so I miss you. I do. You are my daily giggle- in case you didn’t know. Having a crap day? Think about the great time you had with Sega singing any number of songs at the Thai karaoke place and what can you do but giggle? I love you bunches and am extremely bitter that Baltimore lured you away from my comely self.

That being said you had better have a damn good time…a good enough time to justify the sleepless nights that will ensue and countless tears that will flow as we all await word of a visit or *gasp* your return!!!

All joking aside- have fun, don’t forget about us and be safe. Not necessarily in that order.

With Love,
A loyal subject

The Incredibly True Tale of My Secert Admire

This is an EXACT replica (except this is typed and it was hand written) of the note I found on my car on Sunday afternoon:


Intelligant Beauty

I've only been blessed to even been in your presents once, which is when I had the honor of laying eyes on the beauty which is you. I don't know you and you don't know me, but I would like to have the privilege to get to know you. I have never seen the peace of waterfalls in person until I layed eyes on you. I'm not sure if you have anyone in your life right now, but if not I would like to become friends and than if God see fit let our hearts, minds, and sould become one.

Secert Admire
Bldg 3

seriously...i have no comment

Saturday, March 17

The Blarney Edition

First- some news...Joss Stone has a new record coming out and I am pretty damn excited about that :-).

Second: I had some really fantastic sex last night with a friend of mine. I'm hoping that this could become a regular-ish thing...when we weren't busy and both felt like it... Actually I think he should come to my apartment in the mornings and wake me up with fantastic sex. Now THAT'S the way to start a day. The best part about it- ok the second best part about it is that there isn't any weirdness between us now. I mean I think about it each time I see him but it's in the same way I think about the Pineapple Cream Cake that my mom makes...with a wistful/lustful smile. The irony here is that we all call that cake the 'Better Than Sex Cake''s not. But if I could have him AND the cake at the same time...yummy...

PS. Just realized that i never had dinner last night- so between the not eating and the sex i probably burned off some serious calories. Maybe this could be my new diet plan...

Thursday, March 15

Blonde Ambition

So my friend V finally has a blog of her own and I am SO excited!!!
Here's my question though--does this mean I can't post about all the crazy things that happen in her life because she will be? What are the rules on blogger redundancy?

Wednesday, March 14


There is one piece of chocolate that was made by God herself. It is called the Feather and it’s made by Godiva Chocolatier. One of the reps for an insurance company we work with brought by boxes of chocolate for the women in F&I. Each box had one Feather…and they each gave their Feathers to me!!! I had to sit down as I was eating the first one- it was just that good. I got shivers during the second one- seriously- there isn’t anything better than the Feather. ANYTHING. AT. ALL.

Except maybe fantastically great sex…

Pizza Cancer

Don't ask.

So- went out with GE and a friend of his last night for some beer and pizza. Friend was nice and we had an ok time but GE was in a mood over a girl. Normally I would have had more sympathy for him---ok no I wouldn't have. I don't really 'do' sympathy. Here's what I don't get. GE is a good guy, he's attractive, smart, funny and sweet. Yes, he can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but he's a man and that's an incurable illness for them. So why is he all hung up over this 24 year old girl when he could be dating an actual woman? Maybe that was harsh- I mean, I don't really know this chick ...and yes everyone matures at different rates... but I really think that's kind of bullshit. From what he's said about her she seems pretty immature and he's getting sucked into the game playing ( a bad thing for over thinkers) so I think this needs to stop. Ignore her. Walk away and ask out someone else. Odds are she'll be beating down your door in a month's time anyway but hopefully you'll have met someone who really wants to be with you and you won't care :-)
End of lecture/rant.

PS had some really good oysters last night- just thought I'd share. (not at the pizza place-at a bar)

PPS- Why is it that the most annoying person in the office is also the one who's voice carries the farthest? Also- could someone please tell her that and over 40, overweight person cannot carry off the no bra tank top look even if there is another shirt over it? I seriously cannot stand this woman.

Tuesday, March 13


My friend V went to a wake last night to meet a man.

Wait- let it sink in.

Say it to yourself a couple of times and enjoy the mirth that ensues.

She called me last night after the wake to tell me all about him. I swear I have not laughed like that in way too long. It just seems ridiculous to me, and in her defense it seemed so to her as well, that someone would actually be set up at a wake. Oh- did I not mention it was a set up? Well it was. SM's grandfather passed away on Sunday morning and she had been trying to get V to meet her cousin for months and the wake just seemed like a good idea...
She's at the funeral now. I am really hoping that it is to be supportive of SM...but I think it's at least a little bit because the cousin is hot...

In other news: We're going to the Grey's Anatomy watch party at BlackFinn on Thursday night. If you're going to watch impossibly pretty people do incomprehensibly stupid things you might as well get free appetizers and champagne is what I always say! Actually, V and I are going to dinner at AW Shucks first (because I am addicted to their tuna) so it'll be a whole night out! I'm pretty that sad?

Saturday, March 10


You Are 24% Pure

You've either done it, thought about it, or at least heard about it.
Luckily, there's a few things left for you to try!

Mercy Creek

Yesterday pretty much sucked at work. I had ten million things to do - I had questions about all of them and the clock was ticking. I've been talked to about my overtime. Ok- here's my question: How am I supposed to do three jobs and run a search to replace myself in the time that it used to take me to do one job? Contrary to what you might have heard I do not have super human speed. Whatever. Fuck it. I walked out the door and let it go. Actually I went and picked out my birthday present (bedroom furniture from my Dad) and that helped me let it go.
I got a call last night from GE and Sega to come hang out and I was riding on a shopping high so I decided what the hell- I'll go play with the boys. I would talk about Sega but he gets lost somehow in translation. He's one of those people who has to be experienced. Suffice it to say that I simply adore him. GE spent the night trying to get me to go home with him, but he was so sweet about it that it didn't bother me. We ended up listening to this band- Mercy Creek- that was really good. I knew it was time for me to go home when I started thinking 'deep thoughts' about the singers place in modern society. Yeah...

Saturday, March 3

The shape of things

I was going to spend my day at work today looking for another job. My resume is updated and annoyance threshold with at job was routinely peaked. I love the people that I work with--it's the actual job that I have a problem with. Actually I am doing three people's jobs right now and I am getting paid for about 3/4 of one job. That is a little bit of a problem for me. Finally last week I had actually had enough(as opposed to other times when I said I had, but in fact was just blowing off steam) and I updated my information on Monster, CareerBuilder, and my local newspaper's website.
It was magical. My boss asked me in for a meeting with HER boss about getting someone to hand over the lesser functions of my job to so that I can 'grow in the company'. Also, the other job that I am covering is FINALLY going to be filled!!! There are four candidates coming in for interviews next week. (See I wasn't kidding about doing three jobs!) No one has said anything about a raise or a nomination for sainthood (just as likely around here) but I am not going to push. Besides, maybe something fabulous will pop up in one of my job searches!
So instead of spending the day looking for a new job I spent the day doing MY job. I got almost caught up from the hell that we will call 'last week' and while I was not able to get a jump on next week I was able to get all of my materials together for the sales meeting on Monday morning.
Maybe I'll give myself a gold star...or a martini...

Friday, March 2

Poems aren't finished -they're abandoned...

I have a problem. They say the first step is admitting it. Hello, my name is G and I'm an addict. I can't stop eating the Black and Bleu Bacon Cheeseburger from Backyard Burger. Seriously. I had four last week. I crave them. I wake up in the morning thinking about them and I crave them all day long until I have one for lunch---or dinner if I'm trying to pretend that I have willpower. I don't know how it started. Well, that's not true, I do know how it started. You always tell yourself that you will be the person who can handle it- but the truth is that I am powerless over that burger. From the first moment that I took the first bite I knew...
It's not that this is the best burger I have ever had (although it is in the top five). There is just something about it. I have tried to recreate it's affects in the lab (my kitchen) but I can never get it right. Of course my failures have been gastronomically delightful--but they haven't induced the craving that I feel even when I am walking out of the Backyard Burger.
The only things that have slowed the beast are the embarrassment factor: I can't go in there every least not during the same shift... and the fact that this is not a cheap addiction. This is no Value Menu crush.
In an effort to get over this I have started putting bleu cheese on practically everything . I figured that if I got sick of the taste of the cheese I would be able to let the burger go. It hasn't worked--but I did hit upon a pretty good recipe for sweet potatoes. I'm trying to keep my eyes on the silver lining here folks!
So if you want to try the recipe here you go:
Bleu Cheesy Sweet Potato Bake

2 large sweet potatoes
1 tbs butter
1 tbs fresh thyme
1/4 cup bleu cheese crumbles

Pre-heat oven to 350
Grease 13x9 baking pan with the butter
Rough chop the potatoes into about 1 square inch pieces
Spread potatoes evenly in pan
Sprinkle thyme over all
Cover tightly with tin foil and bake for 1 hour ( or until pieces are soft)
Remove from oven and mash the potatoes with a masher or a large fork
Sprinkle with cheese
Replace in oven uncovered for 5-10 minutes, or until cheese is melted