Thursday, May 10

MySpace Is A Tool Of Satan

I want children. Eventually. I want a husband and a better job first, but I do want children. As the years go by (not that many of them really, but it starts to feel that way sometimes) I want them more. I see people around me with families and 'real adult lives' and I still don't own a couch. Whatever (she says with uplifted chin).
I was dragged onto MySpace by V and My Soldier. For a moment I was giddy with the prospect or reconnecting with those I had lost touch with along the road of life. I forgot momentarily that there were reasons we took different turns off of that road. (Alright- that was a badly executed metaphor...see, SEE what this is doing to me!!!)
There were only two people I found that I had truly missed and I while I am grateful for that I am in severe psychic pain because of the BABIES! THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!!!
I remember when I would go out and see people my age with children and feel bad for them. Now the tables have turned and I am tired of getting constantly asked when my child bearing hips will live up to their name. In the normal course of human existence one can avoid many of these encounters...but on MySpace it is impossible. My so called 'friends' are all married. With children. and not just children- beautiful children.
This is bullshit. I am 28 years old and should not be freaking out about things like this. I am way too young for this shit. I am. Seriously.
You know what I need? I need to spend a massive amount of time in bed with a hot guy who doesn't care that I don't own a couch, is grateful my hips have not borne children, and is able to make me forget my own name- much less my sad existence and the fact that three ex boyfriends of mine are married with kids. Cross your fingers that I'm not at work tomorrow.

2 Comments:

His Sinfulness said...

Babies, cute as they are, are unsanitary and leak from every orifice. They also put a damper on spending lots of time in bed with hot men.

Couches are overrated, by the way. I have owned several, and they make it hard to drop everything and dash off on international adventures... they also ate my pocket change.

The babies and the couch will arrive when they are supposed to - in the meantime, enjoy your youth. If I were local, I'd offer to help you forget your name... ;)

WNG said...

Astute as always, Your Sinfulness...And hilarious. Thanks for that, I needed the lift...obviously.