Friday, June 15

Part 2: The Proctologist Is An Ass...

After enduring a week of Proctologist jokes at work Mama G was still looking forward to her date. They were going to meet at 5:30 for drinks. TP said he had a dinner meeting that night, so they would have to keep it short. This was fine with Mama G because she was a tad embarrassed about her behavior on their first meeting. On ‘date day’ she went out to lunch with a bunch of the guys from her office. These are all guys fresh out of college or grad schools that have gravitated to my mother. They go to lunch, they go to dinner, and they throw darts in contests in bars. Mama G has a posse.
Over lunch with the ‘young uns’ she told them about the date and the dinner TP was going to afterward. She was surprised when they broke up laughing. Just as some women will have a friend call them a half hour or hour into a date to make sure everything’s going alright and provide an ‘out ‘ if necessary, so some guys will have a dinner meeting set up to keep a date short. They told Mama G that if the date was going well she shouldn’t be surprised if TP got a call saying the dinner had been postponed or cancelled. She went back to work feeling informed and not a little hip.
The feeling didn’t last long. A word of advice gentlemen: if you are going to break a date at the last minute because you are sick, do not go into detail; especially if it is a bowel problem. I will not reprint the text message she forwarded to me in which he asked if they could postpone due to … I will not do this because it is graphic, disturbing, and it was on the cell phone that got drunk so I don’t have it. Did Mama G go home and sulk? No- of course not. She went out to the new place at the beach with her ‘young uns’ to catch a local band and have some tequila.
People think that she wears College of Charleston gear because it is my alma mater. I know it’s because of the mascot.

10 Comments:

Flynn said...

I wonder if the over-share is just a folly of his job. You know, like how nerds tend to get over-excited when tech comes up? He has a butt thing and goes "HAHAHA I'll impress her with my amazing ass-info".

Mama G isn't going out with him again is she?

His Sinfulness said...

I, too, am curious about a reschedule. Keep us informed...

WNG said...

He asked for a reschedule and she said "So sorry, butt I'm not interested."

His Sinfulness said...

that line would have been funnier if you had punctuated it with a colon...

Joe said...

48-year-old men do not break dates via text messages.

Jimmy said...

That last comment was mine, I swear. Freudian slip.

WNG said...

Jealously is an ugly color on you jimmy

mist1 said...

I love people who prefer tequila to sulking.

WNG said...

Mama G prefers tequila to everything!

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