Monday, June 11

Reality Bites- Harbor Fest Edition

Oh Good Lord where do I start? Ok. The beginning would probably be a good idea. After work on Friday I spent the day on a boat with some people from work and some beer. Fun. I like water and I like beer. So I thought, “G, why don’t you do this again tomorrow?” I am brilliant. I wrangled an invite and met them at their house the next day.
We had their progeny with us on Saturday morning so there was decidedly less drinking going on until we dropped them off with Grandma around 2. We picked up V and proceeded to do fun things involving speed and other people’s wakes. Grand times and more beer!
At around six we started looking for friends who were supposed to be meeting us out on the water for the fireworks. We pulled into the harbor on the P’mth side and chugged around with our eyes peeled. No luck. There were, however, many groups of boats with extremely hot men on them. V and I especially appreciated the great pecs in the red trunks. You know who you are. Thanks.
We ended up dropping anchor by ourselves, but close enough to a group of about five boats that V and I could drool over them and grandpa on their boat could drool over us. Did I mention the super cleavage bathing suit? No? Oh well then, just forget about it. He was looking at my face…obviously. Eventually he asked us to tie up with them and join the party. We were the seventh or eighth boat at that point and more just kept coming.
We had a great time. The music was loud, the beer was cold, and everyone was hopping back and forth from boat to boat. And there were men everywhere. I feel that I must mention at this point that I am not some man obsessed crazy woman. It’s just been a while since there was anyone I was REALLY interested in. I mean someone who isn’t John Legend or Bradley Whitford. I’m just saying…
Maybe it was my 13th beer, or maybe it was that damn Pink song, “You and Your Hand”, that always makes me do crazy things. I decided to go over to the next boat and check it out; I dragged V along with me of course. We were going to make our way down the entire row but we got sidetracked by Joe. Joe is adorable. He made me laugh; he gave me his last cigarette and then wouldn’t let me give it back. He named his dog Cuervo. His parents are hippies, still. We won’t mention Joe’s shoulders or I might swoon.
Joe’s phone was almost dead so he used mine to call his instead of programming my number in. I saved his number under Joe :-). Then I climbed to the roof of the boat we had ended up on to watch the fireworks. Joe followed. There were fireworks, and kisses, and more fireworks. I didn’t really care that firework ash was falling all around us because seriously what is more romantic than kissing on the water under fireworks?
Plus he was yummy.
All in all a pretty fantastic day; the kind of day that does not happen to me. But I was not going to question. I got back to my house at around midnight. I had promised Joe that I would call him Sunday afternoon. He didn’t believe that I really would (a HUGE boon to my ego- I must say) and I went pull my cell phone out of my bag so that I could look at his name in my phone. It was wet. It smelled like beer. Why would my phone smell like beer? There was a half empty beer can in my bag. Long story short: I paid $160.00 for a new phone. I have no way of getting Joe’s number out of my beer sodden phone. He has not called. Back to reality.

10 Comments:

karma lennon said...

Oh no! And that story was going so well!!!! Sorry to hear about the phone. :( But at least you had some fun before.

WNG said...

Yeah, yeah. Look on the bright side and all that. Whatever. I am pouting all day- and then I might be over it. I am a champion pouter!

Flynn said...

Well now I have a dilemma...
... ..... ...
Bah! Thwarted by my good-natured Canadian genetics... Here's how you find this 'other' man... ;)

Ring up your phone company and ask them to send you a list of all your calls for the last month, incoming and outgoing. Then, on the page for that night, find one that only shows up the once, and isn't listed anywhere else. That's your boy ;)

WNG said...

Flynn you are a sweetie pie, but I already tried that and they didn't have anything posted after May 28. Alas, I will have to wait for the next bill :-(

Jimmy said...

Wait 24 hours. You'll meet somebody new.

WNG said...

Don't be bitter Jimmy :-)

mist1 said...

1. Tell me about Joe's shoulders.
2. You should have borrowed my purse. It looks pretty absorbent. I haven't tested it out yet, but eventually, I will probably puke in it.

WNG said...

Mist- P E R F E C T shoulders. Wide and muscled. I work outside muscles- Not I work out muscles.
Sigh...
Maybe your mom could call my mom? My last present from her was an electric blue beer koozie with feathers. She got one for V in hot pink.

Flynn said...

Okay, see now my technical prowess is in question :P

What kind of phone was it, and kind of phone did you replace it with? We might be able to pull the ESN chip (it just slides out most of the time like a memory card) and swap them, giving you a list of all your calls / contacts...

WNG said...

Flynn- why don't you just move to VA and I'll forget all about Joe? How are your shoulders?
It was an LG from Verizon and I got a Samsung.
Or I could just wait and see if he calls me...I hate waiting!!!