Friday, October 5

Hobbies, Drugs, Sex, Rock 'n Roll, Defense Budget, and Bunnies

You guys never let me down. My muse walks out on me and you drag her back, kicking and screaming (one of you has a little problem with bondage, but I’ll let that go). Well, you asked for it, so here it is.

Happy Bunny
A Fable by G

Bunny was a Department of Defense drone. She worked in the Public Relations office, an off shoot of Research and Development trying to determine exactly how gullible the American people were. Using her massive endowments (mammary and cranial) she slaved away day after day in a windowless room. Bunny was not happy.
At night she cooked tasteless yet healthy meals which she ate in her Ethan Allen dining room before working out in her home gym and watching Fox news to make sure her work was spreading far and wide.
On the night our story takes place Bunny was driving home in her SUV thinking alternately about the grilled tilapia she would have for dinner and the report she had written that day to cover up defense budget mismanagement and blame it all on Green Party infiltration into the DOD. So she was slightly preoccupied when her SUV was rear ended by a bus. Miffed, Bunny checked that her semi automatic was indeed in her purse and loaded and then pulled the SUV to the side of the road. The bus followed. It was black with smoked out windows and for a moment Bunny wondered if her report had ruffled some feathers but no- the door was opening now and smoke came billowing out as a slightly bedraggled man in an ancient chauffeur outfit came down the steps and walked up to Bunny.
“Madam, I do apologize for the inconvenience. If you would follow me we will clear all of this up.” His voice sounded slightly stopped up and his name tag read C.B. Jay. Bunny thought that there was no way getting on the bus would clear anything up but that smoke was starting to affect her mind and she honestly didn’t care much any more.
Days later Bunny would not be able to describe the inside of the bus. All she would remember was a swirl of colors and books stacked in odd places.
She was introduced to Mayren and the Abashed, a rock group on tour. The Abashed were comprised of Susan Random on Bass and Linus Furious on Drums. Mayren played guitar. There were giant spiders painted on the ceiling of the bus that seemed to crawl toward Bunny as the introductions were made. They didn’t bother her at all because she had taken V’s advanced spider killing class the week before and knew she now had the skills to take them down.
After the spiders and the introductions things got a little hazy. She remembered things in snatches. Herself in a semi medieval costume made of leather strips in a cage hung above a stage gyrating to strange sounds… Herself with the one they call Linus in the back of the bus, she was calling him Pater Major for some reason… Herself sitting on Jay’s lap as he drove the bus with Mayren and the Abashed rocking loud enough to turn the whole thing into a ginormous street legal vibrator...
Bunny woke up in her car two weeks later. She was blissfully sore in all kinds of places and completely revitalized. Even odder, Bunny was happy. She thought of her windowless room and then she thought of the long, strange trip she had been on and she turned her car west and started to drive…

7 Comments:

Jay said...

What a great story. I love stories with happy endings.

Susan said...

Yes!! I'd totally rock the bass. This is an awesome story.

WNG said...

Jay- I have a feeling it's not over...

Susan- Of COURSE you would!

Mayren said...

This is awesome. I almost demand new installments perhaps in the form of NaBloPoMo thingy.
Onward Wench Goddess.

WNG said...

Mayren- As much as I'd like to, I have no access to my blog on Sundays until after Christmas (when I get my new laptop), so I can't NaBloPoMo. I know, very sad :-( Don't worry though, I think Bunny will be back...

heartinsanfrancisco said...

"I'll have what she's having."

WNG said...

Me too Hearts :)