Tuesday, November 13

The Asshole Tax

Every time I bring this up people say that they are going to steal it from me, so I thought I’d just give it to all of you. There are times when Karma truly does seem instant. Meno has an example on her blog. I call this the Asshole Tax.
The Asshole Tax covers everything from the supermarket line jumper who ends up with a credit card that gets denied to a preacher/politician who rails against homosexuality only to be outed by some high priced (and same sexed) call girl…or boy.
If you do the crime the universe will, at some point, make sure you do the time. I personally think that if we made it monetary an Asshole Tax could replace the income tax AND social security tax, but I haven’t been elected to anything. In any case, we all have to pay our Asshole Tax in some form at one point or another. Well, except me – paragons are exempt.
Just remember, when you revel in someone else’s payment they get to revel in yours. Don’t let that stop you, I’m just sayin’…

10 Comments:

Jay said...

I think the asshole tax is a great idea. Just as long as it's not a flat tax. I needs to be a graduated tax so that the bigger the asshole the more the tax. LOL

WNG said...

Oh hell yes. A flat AT would never work, that just encourages asshattery. I'll come up with a sliding monetary scale, don't worry.

Flynn said...

I've long preached the need for an asshat tax. However, my version came with penalties. If you do something stupid, you're charged. If you do it twice "Enforcers", people of sound mind as judged by... well... me, (we could institute some kind of test or interview process once I get enough other people signed up) get to bust your legs, or shoot your car full of holes. It would be the job of these individuals to carry a baton and gun everywhere. They would simply go to a mall, or a park, or sit in on a class, whereever, and fuck up stupid people...



Just say'n, it's an option...

WNG said...

Flynn - I'll take it under advisement. You know, we should justtake over the world - eventually everyone would thank us.

His Sinfulness said...

I have long advocated a benevolent dictatorship with me at the helm as the best form of government for everyone. You and Flynn and other right thinking people can form a sort of council to advise me, and to go hit asshats with batons. A real utopia, that...

Mayren said...

Hitting Asshats with batons?
Is that like Mailbox Baseball??
Count me in.
Batter up!

Susan said...

My ex is such an asshole I'm pretty sure his fees alone could fix the deficit problem.


...and that's on a good day.

WNG said...

Yeah, right, well, the thing is, Pater, that I was thinking that Flynn and I could - but that's, um, you know that I really, well, you know...um, whatever you think is best, of course...

Mayren - AND we could decorate them. I'm thinking matte black with hot pink and yellow flames. You know, a classy baton...

Susan - I'm fine with that. He could work off his debt to society for the rest of his life, no problem. Take the asshole to debtors prison!

Mayren said...

Classy batons are a GO!

We need the Baton keychains for the council members so everyone can see and fear them....
We must also include a large Baton with the WNG Action Figure.

WNG said...

OhmygoshIalwayswantedtobeanactionfigure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mayren, as I have said many times before, ROCKS! The keychains are a great idea - I'll get righton that.