Thursday, December 27

Read This Post

Thank you, Heart In San Francisco, for this tribute.

Wednesday, December 26

Go Home Now!!!

Here's the thing, minions. Every single thing in the world is on sale. Go shopping, have some fun! (seriously - three pairs of new shoes at 50% off can change your outlook on life)
Your friends and family would LOVE to come over for dinner tonight. You should go home right now. I know, I know, you can't all do that. I get it. But tonight, when you go home take a second to call someone just to say hi. Make plans to go out with someone who is away from their loved ones. Invite people over to watch a movie. Snuggle with your pets.
I get to spend this evening with my family. We're having a little party at Mama G's house and I am so excited! I wish the same for all of you: family, friends and never ending holidays.

Saturday, December 22

Buy You A Drink, Drank, Drunk

Mama G is getting me toasted and talking about how we're making memories. She cracks me up.
Just so you don't think that all we do is eat and drink we're also... we do is eat and drink. Oops! OH - we talk about men too!
She won't turn her iPod Shuffle off so she's being sooo loud right now. Did I mention that she's adorable? That's not just the alcohol talking, Mama G rocks! (except when she's stealing my clothes b/c she thinks I can't type and keep an eye on my designer labels at the same time...soooo busted).
NE Way
Just wanted to let you all know that I made it to Chucktown safely and that I am appropriately intoxicated.
We're drinking Holiday Mamas - a Bahama Mama w/ Champagne. YUM!

ps - go to Colonel Mustard and the Condiments on MySpace to hear tracks from their new cd. Friend them damnit! Best college band to come out of the College of Charleston in this millenium! DO IT NOW!!!

Friday, December 21

This Christmas (the song-not the movie)

OK minions, here’s the plan:
After work I’m going straight home to pack up my car and get some sleep. My alarm will go off at 3 am and some time before 4 I will be on the road to Chucktown. Mama G will still be sleeping peacefully, visions of cooking for her baby girl dancing in her head.
Saturday is all about catching up with Mama G, eating great food and getting my laundry done (hopefully not having to do it myself).
Sunday we’ll be driving to Charlotte, NC where one of the Amazing Cousins of G is living. She has to work Festivus Eve and on the day after Festivus, so we’re bringing the holiday to her. I want to dress up as elves, but Mama G’s too classy for that…pout.
We’ll be back in Chucktown on Santa Day afternoon to continue the revelry. I’ve got all my relatives to go see (that’s about half the population of Chucktown) and my college buds and their new spouses/children (why they feel the need to make me feel both old and immature I will never know) before New Year’s Eve.

This NYE will be all about Papa G and V. Yes, V loves me soooo much (felt soooo guilty) that she’s hitting up the Chucktown for a NYE Smackdown! YEA! We’ll be having a super swanky dinner and then going to party after party after party.
Jan 1, 2008 I’ll be back on the road to Hampton Roads and everyone in VA can come out of mourning. All in all I expect an action packed holiday vacation which will leave me in need of a vacation! I’ll try to blog between the drunkenness, revelry and general mayhem, but if I were you I wouldn’t expect too much from me.

Thursday, December 20

Is That Mistletoe in Your Pocket...

All I’m going to say about the Christmas Party is that I got exactly what I wanted. It was sweet and I’m still a little giggly, so we will move on.

Minions, when trying to decide whether to get the green or yellow GB Packers hat for G, do what the BPM did and get both! Yea for him!
Yea also, for the salesman who got me two gift cards to Outback (where the onions bloom year round).
Many yeas for the bartenders who know that the juice in a vodka drink is there merely for color.

Yea to the seven year old who had a brownie eating contest with me (I so totally won-it was NOT a tie)
Yea to Cinnylu who made her super garlic salsa today for all of the hangovers trying to run the office.
Super yea to whoever thought of this: Call this number to talk to Santa 713.331.9135
But the biggest yea of all is that V, BPM and I are going to Krush for dinner tonight. I can almost taste it now…
So, what kind of antics are my minions up to?

Wednesday, December 19

Me I Want a Hula Hoop

Today is Office Christmas Party Day! There will be a cookout at lunch, presents all day long and then the party at 5:30. Free booze anyone? Come on over! Yes, they did buy a bottle of vodka just for the G. I am loved.
Since we haven’t really had time to, what with this that and the other thing (all of those being me being deserted by my best friend) let’s talk about the BPM. The Big Pharmaceutical Minion is a friend of V’s from high school. She’s been trying to hook us up since the summer. I wrote about him before, dedicated minions can do a BPM search since I’m too lazy to link. We had a huge fight the first night we met, then there was Joe and I just didn’t think about him as anything other than V’s friend and then mine after a while. I still don’t know exactly when things started to change. I’ve been obsessed lately with Alicia Keys new CD, As I Am, and I think maybe it’s turning me into the most dreaded of all things: a mushy, girlie girl. We went to dinner a couple of weeks ago and maybe it was the way he smiled at me or the fact that we talked and laughed so long that we closed down the restaurant that started to change my mind. I don’t know.
What I do know is that he’s coming to the Christmas party tonight and I am wearing a killer dress. (Yes Susan, that means cleavage) So think good thoughts for me tonight minions…or bad ones... either way this should be fun.

Tuesday, December 18

Pooh Bear

V is leaving me.
Fine, if you want to get technical about it she’s leaving work to go back to school to become a teacher and save the damn world. Whatever.
Who’s going to listen to my craziness? Who’s going to make me crack up? Who’s going to tell me when I’m being stupid, or which shirt to wear, or what new movie is out? Who will I go to dinner with and talk about men with? Who can I bitch about work with?
Do you see what I’m saying, minions? This is about ME and I don’t think she’s really thought this through.
Yes, the school system is practically crawling on its knees begging for math teachers but do I really have to sacrifice my best friend just so some kid can learn algebra? Does anyone even use algebra any more?
This will be my last week getting to work with V. We’ve made plans to hit up Chucktown in March and I’m sure we’ll be visiting each other, but this is the last week we will see each other every day. It bites.
I am so proud of her for figuring out where she wants to go and for putting herself out there. She has grown so much in the two years we’ve known each other and I am proud to say that she is my friend. V’s a great friend. She listens, she’s supportive but she will also kick your ass when you need it and she keeps secrets. Well, not usually from me, but she can do it.
I am going to miss her no matter how much we keep in touch. I am going to miss her daily presence in my life. She brightened it every day.
So now instead of being my best friend in VA she’ll be my best friend in NC. Soon she’ll be the best teacher in NC and hundreds of children will learn something I already know: V is a person you are lucky to know.
I love you sweetie poo poo face. Good luck.

Damn it.

Saturday, December 15

Ironic Irony

First let me say that I have the best minions in the internets. Thanks for your concern yesterday. I got about four hours of sleep last night and I'm feeling MUCH better. Hopefully I've turned the corner.
Things I shouldn't do when sleep deprived:
1. Email men I'm interested in.
2. Order food at drive thrus.
3. Try to have a conversation with my boss.
4. Speak.
5. Drive.
6. Dress myself.
7. Think.
8. Make decisions.
9. Flirt.
10. Leave my bed to go into the outside world.
I made a sleep deprived fool of myself but more on all of that later.

And here's the ironic irony of the day. Sometimes the universe completely has my back - I'm lovin' it!!!

Friday, December 14

Wake Up Call

I haven't had more than 3 hours of sleep in four nights now. I sleep in odd half hour snatches and wake feeling completely run down, bitchy and oversensitive. In an effort to spare you, my beloved minions, my wrath I'm taking a leave of absence until I can make it through the night. Wish me luck, I'm getting pretty damn close to my breaking point.

Tuesday, December 11

God Bless The Child

Am I the only one who sees the uncertainty in the smile? The insecurity in the stance? The need in the eyes? When I look at my 4year old self am I seeing the picture or the memories? I want to gather her on my lap and hold her close. I want to snuggle her and tall her silly stories while I play with her curls. I want to wipe her tears and tickle her until that almost smile breaks into uncontrollable laughter.
I want her to not grow up craving touch and the feeling of love so much that she would settle, over and over, for a pale imitation. I want her to feel strong and worthy so that she won’t push away or try to destroy every real relationship she had. I would like to protect that sweet, baby me from all that I know is coming; from the world and from myself.
The past might be over, but it is never finished.

Monday, December 10

When I Squeeze You, You Make Noise

It seems strange to me to follow a story about how a young man’s death has renewed my commitment to my community with a plea for help in finding a silly present for Mama G. I may need to split the blog up. I don’t know…
When Mama G first bought her house I talked her into having a rubber ducky theme in the downstairs guest bathroom. Uh huh, that’s right, Rubber Ducky. The shower curtain, the toilet seat, the soap dishes, Kleenex box, hand towels….well, you get the idea. It’s a silly place and that was the plan. There should be a place in your house that makes you giggle; one place where it is impossible to feel bad. I’ll take pics and post them when I go home for Christmas so you’ll get to feel jealous of my awesome decorating skillz. It’s how I spread the joy of the season.
That Christmas I got her a small set of rubber duckies. There was a firefighter, policeduck, and doctor duck. They were cute. She put them on a shelf in the bathroom. The next year was a ducky back massager that was water proof. Last year a pair of overstuffed, but super comfy ducky slippers. Do you see the pattern here?
This year I’ve got nothin’.
So… if any of you lovely minions can help me in my quest to make Mama G smile and laugh on Christmas morning please let me know. If Flynn would like to make me a ducky with his hair that would be cute too (Pater could be your Bert).

Also – It is entirely possible that I have lost my mind and fallen for someone who could actually fit in with my family, friends and life. Of course I should find out that he isn’t interested any day now. I'm a puzzle.

Thursday, December 6

What's Going On

A 15 year old boy was using a payphone outside a restaurant when he heard his mother scream inside and ran in to help her. He was shot by a 14 year old and a 13 year old boy as they were trying to rob the restaurant.

This has got to stop.
What happened in the lives of these young men to lead them to this place? What didn’t happen? What the hell were the rest of us doing that this could happen in our community? No more.
It is no longer possible for a mother to take her son to dinner and both of them come home alive. That’s it. I’m done.
Billy Cook, a member of our school board, sent a letter to the spiritual, political, community and educational leaders of Hampton Roads asking for more than verbal condemnation of the violence on our streets. He asked that everyone DO SOMETHING. He will be a hub for information dissemination for our community as more people come together to take action. All I can say is that it’s about damn time!
How long are we going to wait before we each take action? Until an entire generation of Black men are behind bars or in graveyards? Until the violence moves even deeper into White, Latino and Asian communities? Until there is no safe neighborhood in any community that isn’t gated? When are we going to get angry? When are we going to fight back?
I hear people say all the time that something is a shame, but there isn’t anything they can do. That’s bullshit. I hear people say that some neighborhood or other is a bad one. Well, it’s your city – what are you going to do about it?
Call your City Hall and ask to speak with a community liaison or ask for a list of anti-violence groups working in your city. Ask your pastor, rabbi, etc. Ask your neighborhood principal. Go online. The information is all around you.
The truth is that we, as the individuals who make up our neighborhoods, communities, cities, states and this nation have decided that it is more important to watch TV than stop a young boy from being murdered. We do not actually care. How do I know? We do not act. We let them die and we don’t even lose a moment of sleep over it. Admit it.
I have decided I will no longer be complicit in the murder of our youngsters. I will do what I can to help make a change. I used to think I didn’t have time, or that I was already giving of my time. Dominic is dead at 15 years old. Untold numbers of young men are dead, in jail, on drugs, on the streets. They are lost, they are dying and their numbers are growing. So maybe I’ll miss Grey’s Anatomy one night and help save a life.

Question is: what will it take to make you do something?

Wednesday, December 5

Happy Birthday to ya', Happy Birthday!

Today is Papa G’s 79th birthday. We in the World of G are blessed and grateful to have ‘Fathead’ around. We’re planning a blowout for next year but for this year sincerity rules over hype and I just want to say that I love my dad. He is quite possibly one of the most complicated men to ever live on this planet and he has driven me to: throwing things, drinking, tears, new heights, hysterical laughter and places I never thought I’d have the guts to go.
His life has been pretty amazing. Name something world changing that took place in the states in the past 60 years and odds are he was there, on his way there, or had just left. So, for his birthday I bought Papa G a mini tape recorder and some tapes (I forgot the batteries, for which I will be teased for at least a year); we’re going to write his biography. Well, I’m going to write it, he’s going to talk it. I’m pretty excited about the project and cannot wait to get started. I’m just as ready to learn about him as to share him with all of you.
This will not be his first time being written about. Go to your local bookstore or library and get Does Anybody Give a Damn? There’s a chapter on him. Yes, I am bragging, but if you are interested in education, NYC, race or class issues it’s a good book. If you’re a fan of G it has just become required reading! I’ll wait until you’re done with that before I give you a list of articles.
I’m sure that over the next year (at least) there will be plenty of times where I question the sanity of this project and myself. I’m sure there will be fights and hurt feelings and amazing revelations. When I post about how the book will never get written and I want to give up will someone please remind me to read this post?
Today I am grateful that Papa G is mine, that he is here and that I have time with him.
I love you, Dad.

Tuesday, December 4

Things That Make You Go Hmmm

I Am Not Star Jones over at the Unemployment Café has tagged me with this MeMe. I’d call her a poopyhead, but I’m way too mature for that. Damn it. Here we go!
Seven random or weird things about me:
*Let me preface this by saying that I, as Wench Goddess of the World of G, am neither random, nor weird. You, my minions, are just out of step and fail to see the big picture.

1. Half of my relatives aren’t related to me. My half sister’s family adopted my mom and me years ago and stuck with us through my parents’ divorce – as a result I have a Not-Brother, Not-Cousins, Not-Aunts and Not-Uncles. They are some amazing people and I love them fiercely. Yeah, I get Christmas presents for Papa G’s first ex wife. What?

2. I have lived in each time zone in the US.

3. There are certain holiday commercials which spike my blood pressure and make my stomach roll. I have thrown things. It is that bad. Offender #1 – Zales (jewelry store) super cheese fest where they change the Christmas Story. I will turn off the TV. (I don’t have a remote, so that’s saying something)

4. I don’t have a remote control for my TV or cable. It’s been two years. It hurt at first, but after the shakes passed I was ok. I mean, I still have to hit up the methadone clinic once a week, but I think I’m doing better…

5. I never wear jewelry but I love it. Good jewelry. I would wear sapphires and diamonds every day if I could. I can’t, which is sad on a global level, but I love them anyway. Oh and pink sapphires too. And emeralds…rubies…onyx, opal, amber, you get the idea Pretty colors…sigh…

6. I can eat the exact same thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner over and over without tiring of it. My record was 9 days (although I didn’t always eat breakfast). It was Velveeta shells and cheese with broccoli, spinach and linguicia mixed in. Yummy.

7. There has only been one time in my life I have dated someone I though was good enough to be part of my family. He was not, ironically, the person I ended up engaged to.

There you go – my strange 7. If you read this post you have been tagged (mwaahahaha… evil laugh!) Let me know when you’re posting so I can taunt you a second time!

Monday, December 3

All I want for Christmas

I cheat. Sometimes I'll have a blog idea or just need to get something out so I'll write it and save it. Then, when I have a day when I can't write I'll pull it out and post it. I was just going to direct you all over to the Unemployment Cafe because someone over there has been reading my mind and posting it (Big Sister is watching you) but then I found this little nuggets and I thought, what the hell? So, here you go. It's a rough cut, but I mean every word.

I’ve been posting/writing/thinking a lot about giving and receiving lately. It’s a difficult topic to avoid this time of year unless you somehow manage to live a media free existence. My focus has been on gifts for my family and community and I really haven’t thought much about what I want for myself. I realized just now that I don’t want anything.
Let me rephrase, I don’t want anything that anyone could buy me. * If you want to buy me a bookstore I am FINE with that.* What I want most is change. I am changing my life radically yet unlike most radical change it is coming slowly, sometimes painstakingly. I am working to affect my little World of G and make it a better place, but am getting more than a little pissed that others seem content to sit back and whine about it. I am being driven even more insane by the people who don’t even seem to notice or care about the problems in our world and are instead focused on what will be under the tree this year. With those facts in mind minions, I present to you G’s Christmas List, 2007 Edition.
authors note (my obsessive heart will always make room for anything West Wing, GB Packer or U2 related…I’m just sayin’…)

Take ten minutes out of one day to look up 5 things you can change in your daily life that would help the environment and do them? How hard is it to switch light bulbs, really?

I would like to somehow get the message heard that each of us is responsible for every child we come across; the gangbanging teen on the street corner and the screeching baby in the restaurant. If something in your life isn’t actively working to help the generation behind you then you are honestly just taking up space. Please get out of the way.

Maybe if we demanded honesty and substance from our media we could ask the same from our politicians? Just an idea…

The men and women in our military are willing to die for each and every one of us at the request of the people WE elect. Each death is on our hands. It’s time for some honesty.

Why are we the only major industrialized nation on the planet who won’t allow Gays and Lesbians to serve openly in our military? Look it up.

People who want to work come in through the southern border, people who want to blow things up come in through the northern one. Pass it on.

Make a list of the top five things you would like to see change in the world. Dream big. Now – as a present to me spend one hour researching them online (because I guarantee you someone, somewhere is already on it). Then spend one hour a month helping. It really is that easy.

People keep talking about how complicated the problems facing our world are. They can be. OR they can be as simple as getting off of your ass and doing something. Learn about something, help someone. Help one damn person and maybe I’ll take your pontificating a little more seriously. (That was not a crack at the BV) Above all I would like to see the death of apathy this Holiday season. I honestly don’t care what you care about – as long as you care about SOMEthing and are willing to do something about it. The easiest way to start a movement; START MOVING.