Tuesday, December 11

God Bless The Child


Am I the only one who sees the uncertainty in the smile? The insecurity in the stance? The need in the eyes? When I look at my 4year old self am I seeing the picture or the memories? I want to gather her on my lap and hold her close. I want to snuggle her and tall her silly stories while I play with her curls. I want to wipe her tears and tickle her until that almost smile breaks into uncontrollable laughter.
I want her to not grow up craving touch and the feeling of love so much that she would settle, over and over, for a pale imitation. I want her to feel strong and worthy so that she won’t push away or try to destroy every real relationship she had. I would like to protect that sweet, baby me from all that I know is coming; from the world and from myself.
The past might be over, but it is never finished.

11 Comments:

Susan said...

I feel the need to hug her too. There's hope there, though, which is something from childhood I think we all let go of too soon. Hope's a good thing..

WNG said...

Yeah, plus I was adorable. Trying to not let go of the hope - that's the hard thing.

NoRegrets said...

I think any smile that isn't open mouthed means there's something going on... But she is very cute...

Jay said...

I'm thinking that you're probably still pretty darn adorable.

You have a good heart.

EsLocura said...

you were one good looking little girl. Isn't it crazy how we have to try so hard to make ourselves into healthy adults? I'd hug and hold her too.

His Sinfulness said...

Along with the uncertainty, what I see is intelligence - perhaps your greatest asset. With that and a tiny bit of the hope Susan saw, you can do anything.

WNG said...

Thanks guys. I usually feel pretty dumb displaying my insecurities (and bad 80's fro) but this time I just needed to get it out.

meno said...

I was thing the same thing about the closed mouth smile as noregrets.

The 'fro is adorable.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I see the uncertainty, too. She looks well tended but insecure, as if she is prepared to dart away if she needs to.

She is a beautiful child, though, and she became a beautiful woman who will eventually know in her very bones that she deserves much more than pale imitations.

The hope is there, too, in her eyes. I would hang onto the hope because it will light the way to better tomorrows.

The CEO said...

It's not bad to think that you are growing up from being younger and less wise, but giving up on hope is not the answer. Hope gives us reasons to make better tomorrows, and let's face it, it's up to us to make tomorrow better than today.

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