Friday, February 8

i don't feel like singing tonight


Here in these deep city lights
A girl could get lost tonight
I’m finding every reason to be gone
There’s nothing here to hold on to
- sara bareilles


V is coming back to visit this weekend. We’re going to see Matchbox 20 on Sunday after a weekend full of (hopefully) massive amounts of debauchery. I need this time – off of work, away from all of my causes, because my head is so full of crap lately …
My review at work, which was supposed to happen in December and in anticipation of which I wrote my boss a letter basically explaining that I’m broke and feeling completely under used and asking for her help is going to happen this afternoon. They’re going to pull up some nit picky something to justify not giving me the raise I need. They’re going to come up with some craziness about why I’m not moving up to cover the fact that there’s no where for me to go. It’s past time for me to leave the company, but the economy isn’t exactly friendly at the moment.
But that’s ok, right? Because there’s the big move to Seattle planned, school and oh-wait- not so much. Some of us didn’t exactly get accepted. Maybe I’ll just move across the country on my own in the middle of a recession. Balls of steel.
Here’s a weird one, I’ve been thinking about spending my birthday with Papa G. It’s been a rocky few years (try 28 of them) between us and when I go home I don’t really get the alone time with him that I do with Mama G. So, I was thinking we could go do something fun together…bond, you know? Yeah – Vegas, exactly! But Mama G and I always do something for my birthday and I (the ball less wonder) haven’t told her of my thoughts. I haven’t told him either, because who wants to get rejected by their Dad on their birthday?
Oh and where exactly have the men gone? There are boys everywhere. Sweet, funny and sometimes even handsome, but immature and…well…boyish. My life is complicated enough at the moment, I really don’t need to try to figure out your early 20’s mating game. Thank God. And no, saying that doesn’t make me cold – just older than you and ready for something else.
Susan asked me why I haven’t been posting as regularly. Well, any of these things could be a whole post…and probably will be at some point, but right now I can’t focus on any one of them because the others keep jostling for time. It’s easier to focus on the primaries. For once politics is actually not as complicated as my life.

12 Comments:

NoRegrets said...

The economy isn't friendly but there are always job openings. I'd say try try try.
Seattle eh? My brother lives there. Usually they get rain, but it's been snow dumps for the past several years.

WNG said...

I'm working on it NoR. I'm working on about 15 things at once right about now. I've got mad juggling skillz :)

Jay said...

I say throw caution to the wind and make the move to Seattle! Yeah, easy for me to say form here, right? Maybe someday I'll do the same.

Of course I'm almost 40 so someday probably need to come soon I guess.

WNG said...

Thought you were going to Mexico, Jay?
Seriously, I'm saving for it, but it feels like it'll take me forever to do it sometimes.

meno said...

Seattle's nice this time of year.

Oh wait, not so much.

WNG said...

Yeah well neither is VA, Meno.

Oh wait, that's just the people, my job and my apt.
I know that anywhere you go, there you are - I'd just like different surroundings for my neuroses:)

The CEO said...

Check out DC, there's always work for talent here.

WNG said...

I would CEO, but it's full of politicians and I don't want to catch anything :)

Susan said...

You've got more nerve than me. I have a 5 year plan with finishing school and getting all the bills settled and basically paid then moving far far away. At the moment, however, a part of me just wishes that one other thing would work out and I'd never want to leave here. I'd be blissfully, happily existing.

WNG said...

Susan I swear that if I could stand it for five more years I'd wait. Logically I know that I need to save more and have more of a plan before I light out of here, but sometimes I feel like if I don't run I'll scream myself to death.

Susan said...

I got into the habit of running as far and fast as I could from quite a few things, g, about three years ago. It always worked for a little bit until things just showed right back up and I'd have to run again. It took me a long time to realize the main thing I was running from would always be there until I faced it--like the quote says on the blog "no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself."

WNG said...

I know. The thing is that I've been working on me and I'm starting to actually even kinda like myself a little and the more I do the more I HATE my job and where I'm at in life. Changes need to be made. Radical changes. I've been talking about it for a while and planning and dreaming, but it's time to 'shit or get off the pot' as Papa G would say.