Friday, March 7

new growth

I’ve been cleaning my apartment. If any of you remember the Oprah episode where women who looked normal and successful were revealed to be living in crazily disgusting conditions you will understand why it has taken me all week to do this. Someone once told me that your living space reflects your mind and heart. I don’t know if that’s true, but I do know that as I’ve hauled crap out to the dumpster and scrubbed until my arms ached each night I’ve felt better. I’m not generally a spring cleaner and I’m not quite sure that is what this is.
For months I’ve been making plans to change my life. Step by step I’ve put the pieces in place and now it seems that I’m ready to start moving.
I’m cleaning house: body and mind. I’m not stopping until my entire apartment is clean and shiny. I’m eating better and working out. I’ve started writing again, fiction and poetry and created a blog to post it all. I’ve made plans to travel with Papa G and host Mama G here in VA. Tomorrow morning I’m going to garage sales on a search for bookshelves to sand and stain. I’m actually sticking to a budget! I am an active participant in running my life now more than ever. I won’t let it just happen to me anymore.
I’m still volunteering at the children’s hospital and for Barack Obama online. I’m still obsessed with LOST and the Green Bay Packers. Some things won’t change. But if I don’t get a guitar for my birthday I’ll be buying one for myself and teaching myself to play. Why? Because I’ve always wanted to.
There is a ‘fierce urgency of now’ in more than the campaign. I will do all that I can for my candidate, but no matter who wins I must do all that I can for my community and myself. I can’t tell any of you how to live your lives. I hate advice, giving or receiving. But all winter the entire country has been talking about change. Now it’s spring and I’m wondering if it has all been talk or if any of us have actually been changing?


Jay said...

I talk a lot about change. Changing careers and moving and doing all that stuff. But, I haven't made much progress towards doing any of those things.

It would help if I sat down and kinda wrote out a plan or something it would help. Maybe that's how I'll spend my 40th birthday. Making plans for the future.

EsLocura said...

I just finish cleaning my house as well, damn it feels good to see everything sparkle. As for my personal self, have made a promise to be more free to me. I am sort of sick of everyone else's expectations. So far I have manged to say "no" to a few people and tell someone what I really thought about them, it wasn't pretty but damn it felt good.

NoRegrets said...

Yay for you! Change is good. Sometimes it really really sucks, but as long as it's following yourself, it's ultimately good. Where's your other blog?

Susan said...

Honey if you could have seen a before and after of me then you'd see how I've been changing! I'm also cutting the douchebags slowly and steadily out of my life!!! I'm looking to buy software to learn Italian and then, in 5 years, I hope I'm strong enough in it to move. How wonderful of a dream is that??

This weekend I'm cleaning the ol' house. I'm ready for it all to be done. I want all the painting over and for it to feel like mine instead of my parent's house I'm buying.

I want to jump and scream and be totally free of the chains that have been pulling me down. My first step was buying this shirt.

I'm babbling and I'm sorry! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

WNG said...

Jay - It's a good first step and a great present to give yourself. Writing it all down makes it easier to hold yourself accountable. Have a great birthday!

Es- You've been doing what the Pater calls 'deep cleaning'. It's so worth it.

NoR- Flipside Fiction on my blogroll. I'm trying to figure out where myself is going so I can catch up:)

Susan- I am so proud of you, kid. Go ahead and babble all you want. Just remember all the things you are. Damn - that sounded cheesy. oh well

NoRegrets said...

I must say, sometimes change wreaks havoc with eating habits and sleep patterns... whine whine whine...

WNG said...

Sometimes our lives need some havoc. And sometimes you just need to whine - feel free :)

meno said...

You've inspired me to clean my house, specifically the basement and the garage.

Thanks a bunch!!


The CEO said...

Change starts with a decision. The decision is to do the change. It's a commitment to it. After that, it's easier. You organize, then implement. If it's too big, you break it down to the component parts. Got to run.

WNG said...

Meno- I should be getting fees for this! I thought inspirational speakers raked in the dough :)

CEO- Follow through has always been my problem. Doesn't seem to be one anymore and I gotta' tell ya that I'm loving my clean, shiny apartment!