Tuesday, March 11

too much to ask


All I wanted was a pair of shoes. I hate malls and try to employ what I like to think of a special forces shopping tactics: get in, get what I need and get out undetected by the ‘enemy’ (people who love malls…shudder). So I wasn’t really having a good day on Sunday when I got to the mall only to discover that Nine West was being renovated. I went to Nordstrom to comfort myself with beautiful shoes I will never be able to afford and then took myself off to my favorite sports bar for a beer.
I was not in a great mood. There had been no shoes and I’d wasted a trip to the mall. All I wanted was to watch all the basketball games at once and drink a beer or two in peace. The bartender, being a bartender, immediately picked up on this and pretty much left me alone until I was finished with my first Yuengling. There weren’t too many of us there: three seats down from me were two guys in their mid twenties having lunch, watching the games and occasionally making snarky comments about the players that were witty enough to have me half eavesdropping on their conversation. At the end of the bar were three NR’s. There is a subset of male that is peculiar to Navy towns, which my friends and I call the rat. The rat thinks he’s cool because he’s been to McDonald’s in 12 different countries. He thinks buying illegal DVD’s somewhere in Asia is romantic and that every woman in America will be charmed by his supposed ‘worldliness’. He’s usually on the short side, can be of any race but is generally under 25 and not actually attractive. They always travel in packs. I avoid them like the plague.
I was on beer # 2 and was chatting with the bartender about my move to Seattle and her time in New Mexico, with the b-ball watchers chiming in from time to time, when it happened. Suddenly short, unattractive men with no personality surrounded me. There was one to my right and two on my left. They pull the bar stools closer to me, effectively blocking me in and bought me a beer before I could say anything (which is pretty damn fast). They didn’t want to be left out of all the fun. Oh. Joy.
They talked loudly about nothing at all, thought they were hilarious and never noticed the eye rolling that occurred amongst the rest of us or the fact that we talked on around or over them. Now the question was, just how rude was I going to be? I knew that if I got started I was likely to go into Super Bitch Goddess Mode and felt they really didn’t deserve that type of smiting. I thought maybe if I was simply cool to them and ignored them they’d get the hint. The bartender and I picked up our conversation about Seattle and my bookstore at which point the guy on my right said, “You’re gonna’ open a bookstore? So, do you like to read?” He couldn’t have been more than 22 and he was trying so hard. And he was annoying the crap out of me. I wanted to say, “Yes, kid, I like to read. That’s. Why. I’m. Opening. A. Book. Store. Now, will you please go away and let the grown folks finish their conversation?” I didn’t. I took a fortifying gulp of my libation, paid my tab and left the bar.

12 Comments:

His Sinfulness said...

You are to be commended on your restraint. It's, like, good for the soul, or something...
:)

Susan said...

You should have told him you just liked to look at the pictures. Wait, that wouldn't have been nice. I guess my inner Super Bitch Goddess can't be silenced.

By the by, excellent beer choice. :)

EsLocura said...

that's why I do all my shoe shopping at Zappos.

WNG said...

Pater - I had better get MAJOR karma points for my restraint. You should talk to someone about that.

Susan - See, if you had been with me we could have just laughed at them. Go East young woman!

Es - Can I be you when I grow up?

Jay said...

You should have said "No I think reading is for geeks, but other people like to read so I thought maybe I could sell them some books or something."

Or you could have told him it was going to be a bookstore focusing on feminist writers. That would probably make him cry.

NoRegrets said...

You need to learn sign language for situations like this.

And the dreams eke out in your posts. A bookstore? Cool... I'll do the cafe part. I'm a good cook.

Inarticulate Fumblings said...

Wow... so much composure! I'm impressed! When I was living in Taiwan, we had our own set of "those guys." They constituted the "Zero to Hero" crowd (couldn't make it in their own country but found celebrity status in a foreign country because they spoke English).

Good on you for not tearing them a new one... ESPECIALLY after an unsuccessful, wasted trip to the mall!

WNG said...

Jay- You and Susan need to accompany me on all future bar excursions.

NoR- Great! Does it matter if we can't really pay you?

IF- AND I really didn't feel like going home. I should have just made them cry until they left...

meno said...

Heh! You could have told him that you were opening a bookstore for lesbians.

When i go to the mall, i try to perform what i call a surgical strike. In and out in less than 15minutes.

You are moving to Seattle and opening a bookstore? I need to know when and where, so i can come visit.

WNG said...

Meno- visit? You mean "spend obscene amounts of money" right?
I move late Jan 2009 and we're hoping for a September opening :)

He probably would have been excited about the lesbians...

NoRegrets said...

Wow, you really are serious! You'll have to tell me where, since my brother lives in Seattle and I'll tell him to go and when I visit I'll go there too!

WNG said...

You guys keep forgetting the most important part - visiting is great, but BRING YOUR WALLETS!!!

Believe me, you'll ALL be invited to the opening:)