Wednesday, May 28

goodbye to you


Thomas John was almost 10 months old when he died. He was born addicted to Methamphetamine because his parents cooked it in their house. He was tiny, a little under half weight, and he was never comfortable.
Unless you knew the trick: back and forth in the rocker three times and then a bounce step around the nursery. We would do that for a couple hours, talking about politics or Grey's Anatomy. Sometimes he liked to sit on my lap and play the drums on my knees. For the past few weeks he was back in ICU and I couldn’t hold him. I could only let his tiny fingers grab on to mine with surprising strength.
Last night his heart gave out.
TJ’s doctor, who is a friend of mine, called me as I was leaving work to tell me I should come down and say goodbye. We knew this was coming, I just didn’t think it would get here this fast.
For every family I meet that is fighting so hard to keep their child healthy there’s a child like TJ, forgotten and discarded by his parents when they were arrested, unwanted by his grandparents and left to ‘the system’. Thank God that here in Hampton Roads ‘the system’ includes CHKD. This weekend and next week there will be telethons across the country for the Children’s Miracle Network. I know that times are tough for everyone , but please give anything you can. The beautiful children you see on TV need it and so do the forgotten ones.
You were loved, TJ and you are missed.

16 Comments:

NoRegrets said...

Sorry, that is very sad. Since I likely won't have kids, I need to start volunteering to do something like that.

WNG said...

It's usually a joyous job, NoR, and gives me so much more than I give.
Today is just hard.

slag said...

I'm sorry for your loss!

WNG said...

Thank you, slag.

Susan said...

I'm sorry sugar..

WNG said...

thanks sweetie. today pretty much sucks. i'm trying to stay focused on happy things like vodka and starbucks. I'm thinking of having that combo for dinner.

Big Man said...

How did you get into that volunteering gig? I think that is something I could do and it wouldn't conflict with my job. Let me know.

Oh, and I missed you over at the spot today, you know I'm addicted to your informative comments.

Jay said...

That's very sad about TJ. Really terrible.

WNG said...

Big Man - call your local children's hospital and ask them what they need you to do. I promise you they'll have a list of things for you to choose from. Promise. The 'rocker program' or whatever it's called at your hospital is usually the only one with a waiting list. I do clerical help for the volunteer coordinator once a week, one saturday a month in the toddler play room and a couple nights a week as a rocker - we rock babies and talk to them - just give them some human contact. It's amazing, addictive and worth making the call.

Thanks, Jay. You guys are really sweet. I promise I'll try to be back up to speed tomorrow.

meno said...

Dammit i wish people who didn't give a shit about them wouldn't have babies.
This breaks my heart.

WNG said...

Me too Meno, and thanks.

WNG said...

Me too Meno, and thanks.

The CEO said...

Thank you for showing the very best in humanity when it is absolutely needed the most. I am so sorry for our loss.

WNG said...

You make me cry, Monty. Of course that's not really hard right now but I think it really is 'our loss'. He was so beautiful. It was a whole future that was lost.

Gye Greene said...

OK, I was already bummed by reading articles (for lecture) on domestic violence, and violence in Indigenous Australian communities.

Now I'm even more bummed.

You're a good person for doing that stuff.


--GG

WNG said...

I should have a bummer alert at the top, huh? :)
I get so much more out of it than I put in, so I don't know how much of a good person I am for doing it - but I love it.