Tuesday, February 3

it's just a little crush

I mean it's not like he's Kevin McKidd or anything (I really have to get a handle on that - celeb crushes are so weird to me!) but I have a crush on this guy.

He lives at the apartment complex where I work and I've talked to him maybe a handful of times, mostly about apartment stuff. I don't know him. But I like him. I get butterflies when he walks in the door. When I found out about the fire my first thought was that it was in his building and was he ok (he was). Then tonight he told me that he's headed to Afghanistan soon (he's in the Air Force).

Now here's the thing - or things:
Even if he wasn't going overseas I could never actually date him because he lives at my job - it's a big no-no...
And I have no idea if he's even seeing anyone...
And I'm horrible at flirting with guys I actually like...
And he could not be attracted to me or interested in getting to know me at all...
And I am waay too old to have a crush. This is not high school.

But - I like the fact that on any given day I could see him. I like the fact that he's just there, you know? And soon he won't be.

Soon he'll be going to a place where I've lost too many people that I care about already. So, even though I don't know him, I'll miss him and I'll worry about him. I'll hope that he's ok. Until he leaves I'll keep hoping to see him come through the door and smile at me. And I'll keep thinking in my silly, girly heart...maybe...

For tonight I'm listening to Bruce, looking up a vodka we talked about tonight on 'teh internets' and playing Jewel Quest on my computer like the dork I am.

But tomorrow maybe I'll see him...maybe...

* In comments - anyone else out there with a hopeless crush? Any advice for me on mine?

4 Comments:

His Sinfulness said...

My advice: Don't suffer in silence. Let him know, one way or another. You will feel better for being honest about your feelings, even if he turns you down flat.

I know of what I speak. I am currently dating the woman I crushed on for 2 years... :)

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Invite him to have coffee or something relatively innocent and see how it goes.

There is nothing wrong with showing kindness to a serviceman who is about to go off to war.

Good luck to both of you!

WNG said...

Pater - yeah, but I could get fired... so maybe I'll just crush from afar :-)

Hearts - does coffee flavored vodka count?

Gye Greene said...

Too old to have a crush: I respectfully disagree; I think it's endearing. Plus, if you do some soul-searching, I think you yourself would think that widowed senior citizens (for example) having crushes is a good thing. :)

That guy: Hm. Get his address, write him a few letter? Not dating -- just ''customer service''. ;)


--GG